


gathering pieces

by juncheol



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, I'm actually proud of this one guys, M/M, Seungcheol isn't a himbo he's just shit at baking, i only write kissing scenes for cheolhui apparently, let's go impulse writing, modern gay rapunzel but instead of magic hair there's an acorn and a two-story drop, my lifelong goal of getting the juncheol tag to 100 stories starts: now, neglect is very very minor and very very implied but yeah, oh yeah this is technically a birthday au?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:35:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24661660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juncheol/pseuds/juncheol
Summary: Adrenaline, Seungcheol called it once, face shadowed by the yellow gas station lights behind him.It’s like fear, but the exciting kind. Means you’re enjoying yourself so much you don’t need to think about anything else.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Comments: 14
Kudos: 99





	gathering pieces

**Author's Note:**

> Happy hella belated Jun day
> 
> A/N I'm reposting this because a few things were bugging me. Just some dialogue rewrites and a bit more background for context. I hope I didn't make it worse rip rip

It’s easier like this, he thinks, when they’re not facing each other.

The bicycle wobbles under their combined weight, making Jun hold onto Seungcheol tighter. If Seungcheol is bothered by the way Jun’s shaking fingers are digging into his shoulders, he doesn’t say a word. He’s probably just being considerate—Jun’s never even touched a bike before, much less ridden on one with someone else. If it weren’t for the circumstances, there probably wouldn’t have been any way for Seungcheol to get Jun to agree to this in the first place.

Each bump over the harsh gravel makes Jun’s heart clench, and he has to bite down on his lip to keep from shouting whenever Seungcheol takes a sudden turn down the barren road. After a certain point, Seungcheol starts leaning forward until he’s practically off the seat, forcing Jun to lurch up and nearly bump his nose into Seungcheol’s back. Jun can’t help the yelp that slips out as he scrambles to find purchase on something stable, settling on the hem of Seungcheol’s shirt with a whine. Seungcheol snorts something like a laugh, turning his head back slightly to flash Jun a smile. It’s smug, and maybe it shows his gums but that doesn’t take any attention away from how it makes his cheeks form the tiniest little dimples.

Okay, maybe Seungcheol _isn’t_ being very considerate. But Jun’s hands have stopped shaking, so he can’t be too mad.

This isn’t the first time they’ve been out at night. If anything, it’s tradition for Seungcheol to climb the tree closest to Jun’s bedroom window and throw acorns he gathered earlier in the day at the glass until Jun opens it up. It’s a miracle Jun’s parents haven’t caught him sneaking out yet; it’s not exactly like Jun’s the most graceful person when it comes to climbing out of second floor windows. But he’s grateful for this little secret, grateful for any escape Seungcheol offers him, even if it makes his stomach wobble and his skin tingle and his brain fuzz.

_Adrenaline,_ Seungcheol called it once, face shadowed by the yellow gas station lights behind him. _It’s like fear, but the exciting kind. Means you’re enjoying yourself so much you don’t need to think about anything else._

Jun plays around with the word for a while, letting his eyes trail from the bruises on his arms to the scabbed cuts on his thin hands to the broad expanse of Seungcheol’s back, shoulder muscles flexing with each push of a pedal. Another sharp turn presses a gasping Jun against Seungcheol’s back. Seungcheol is warm, the heat of his skin seeping through his shirt and causing goosebumps to spread through Jun’s body. Seungcheol doesn’t say anything about their position, always patient for Jun to set the pace. Jun’s heart pounds just a little bit harder now and his breath is coming out in puffs, eyes squeezing shut on reflex _. Adrenaline._ When he opens his eyes again a minute later, he pulls tighter on Seungcheol’s shirt but doesn’t move away _._ Seungcheol doesn’t speed up again.

Jun smells the ocean before he sees it, and that alone is enough to perk his head up from where it was resting on Seungcheol’s spine. The moon is hiding behind stray clouds, casting everything in shadows. Jun prefers it this way, letting himself laugh for the first time since he woke up this morning. He barely gives time for Seungcheol to plant his feet on the ground before he’s swinging his leg off the bike and removing his socks and shoes. Jun thinks he hears Seungcheol grumbling something from behind, but he’s too far away now to catch it, digging his feet into the damp sand with each step forward. He hasn’t been near the ocean in years.

When Seungcheol finally reaches him, Jun’s ankle-deep in the water. Seungcheol eyes him with a raised brow. “Isn’t it cold?”

“Freezing,” Jun gasps, eyes wide. “I can’t even feel my toes. How do fish live like this?”

It’s a stupid joke, but it still makes Seungcheol laugh. And properly this time, too, with the shaking shoulders and closed eyes and pure… _something_. There’s a word for it. Jun’s just not sure what it is yet.

The waves crash over Jun’s ankles six times before Seungcheol speaks again. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

Jun feels his heart thump in his chest. He tries his best not to let his expression show when he turns to look at him. “This is a birthday gift?”

It’s the wrong choice of words. Seungcheol’s smile falls and his face goes pale. “Oh, I- I thought- You mentioned once you used to live near the beach back in China. I should’ve asked first. I’m sorry-”

“No-” Jun coughs, voice coming out strangled in his hurry. “No. I like this. A lot. I was just—surprised.” Quieter, he adds, “I didn’t think you remembered.”

The tension in Seungcheol’s shoulders eases a little, and he finally takes a step forward, eyes careful for Jun’s reaction. “Of course I would remember.” When Jun doesn’t flinch away, he takes one more step into the water. “But, your parents…”

Jun bites on his lip, well aware Seungcheol is watching the movement. He’s always been an open book, bare for him to read. When Jun speaks, he feels acid on his tongue, bitter and toxic as it burns its way down his throat, chokes him from the inside. “They didn’t.”

Faintly, he can hear Seungcheol sigh. “Jun.”

Static fills his ears. A wave breaks in the distance, a silent crash. “It’s okay.”

"No." Seungcheol sounds so far away. "It's not."

Jun stares at the ocean, where the dark water meets the pitch horizon. His body stings where the saltwater licks at his scars. He thinks about what his father told him before leaving for work this morning, pressing a blunt nail into the tender bruise near his elbow. "Sometimes I wish I didn’t, either.”

“Hey.” There’s a tug on Jun’s arm, pulling and pulling until he’s pressed against Seungcheol. Jun can’t look at him yet, too focused on where they’re touching. As if he were holding shards of glass, Seungcheol moves Jun’s hand away from his bruise. A crescent mark blooms over the darkened spot, tinged with fresh flecks of red. “You deserve the stars, you know.” He smooths two fingers over the bruise, touch feather light, barely perceptible. Jun shivers, anyways. “Every single last one of them.”

There’s a fierce flush coloring Jun’s face and he hates it, hates how easy it is for Seungcheol to just _say these things,_ hates how hard it is for him to accept that it isn’t supposed to mean anything. Hates how impossible it is to stop gravitating wherever Seungcheol goes. A moon to its sun. He will never deserve Seungcheol.

“Oh.” Seungcheol finally lets go, reaching for something in his jacket’s pocket. He pulls out a small container and pushes it into Jun’s trembling hands. “I, ah, wanted to make you a cake, too. But I...burnt it. So I just brought the frosting.”

Jun stares at it. It’s the kind of frosting you can buy at any convenience store with pocket change, generic and more sugar than actual flavor. Something pokes his shoulder. He lifts his head, sees Seungcheol’s close-lipped smile and—a spoon. Seungcheol is holding out a plastic spoon to him. He won’t look Jun in the eye, and something warm blooms inside him at the possibility that Seungcheol gets nervous, too.

“It’s- It’s blue frosting. Your favorite color is blue, right?”

  
  
  


The first tear falls by accident, a surprise for the both of them. There’s a beat of silence before Seungcheol lets out a breath and brings his thumb up to wipe the tear away. His skin is too warm, the heat branding a trail of fire across Jun’s cheek. It makes him shudder, but he leans into the touch anyways. A second hand cups his other cheek. This is a gift. A comfort. _Adrenaline_. Jun barely notices the rest of his tears fall.

-

They share the frosting. It’s just as sweet as Jun had expected, leaving him in need of some water but he’s too comfortable here on the sand, thigh pressed against Seungcheol’s. He stopped crying a while ago but Seungcheol still has his arm hooked around Jun’s waist, keeping him close as they watch the distant waves. Neither of them mention it.

Warm fingers slide over Jun’s. “I’m sorry,” Seungcheol mumbles, voice muffled from where he has his face in Jun’s hair.

“What’re you sorry for?” Jun asks, a little breathless. He’s always had trouble staying focused when it comes to these moments, when the affection makes his mind drift to brighter realities.

The arm around Jun’s waist tightens. For a dizzying second, Jun wonders if this counts as a hug. “‘M not sure.”

Something wet tickles Jun’s ear. Jun looks up instantly but Seungcheol, clearly avoiding Jun’s eyes, has already blinked away any remaining tears. This isn’t a sight he’s familiar with, and it might just be the only part of Seungcheol he never wants to remember. The sugar in his mouth begins to taste burnt. Jun swallows it down. “Hey,” he whispers.

Seungcheol won’t look at him yet, but the rapid blinking stops. Jun could end it here, yield and be content with baby steps. But maybe because it’s his birthday, or maybe because it’s _Seungcheol,_ Jun wants to be a little greedy for once. So he tries again.

Stomach churning like the sea before him, Jun laces their fingers together, ignoring the way it makes Seungcheol jolt. Jun inches his head forward from where it rests on Seungcheol’s shoulder so he can nose at his neck. Seungcheol’s pulse is almost as fast as Jun’s. The knowledge of that is enough to push Jun to see this through to the end. “Look at me.”

Seungcheol moves slowly, hyper aware of their proximity to each other and how Jun isn’t leaning away this time. From here, Jun can see just how long Seungcheol’s lashes really are, the hairs still glistening with stray tears. Jun bites his lip, shivering when Seungcheol’s eyes flick down to his mouth. He takes it all back—Seungcheol isn’t considerate _at all._

Giving their linked hands a squeeze, Jun tries for a smile. “Thank you. For everything.” It’s a weak answer, they both know that. That’s not what he wanted to say at all, but Jun doesn’t have the vocabulary yet to properly say what’s on his mind and even if he did, chances are he would’ve choked up anyways because _oh God Seungcheol might just cry again-_

Seungcheol’s free hand reaches up to cup Jun’s cheek. Any sound that was about to come out of Jun’s mouth is shot dead as Seungcheol pulls himself closer. Time moves too slow, stretching out this moment and Jun’s patience until Seungcheol finally presses his mouth to Jun’s.

This is Jun’s first kiss, so he doesn’t have much to go off of, but he can’t help but feel like this is a pretty damn decent one. Seungcheol kisses the same way he gives advice—gently, pressure light but still firm enough to guide Jun. There’s a lingering taste of frosting mixed with sea salt on Seungcheol’s lips and Jun realizes he likes the combination a lot. The hand on his cheek slides down to his neck, fingers moving into his hair with a soft tug, and it takes everything in Jun to not make a sound. When Jun begins to shake, dizzy from nerves and disbelief that this is finally happening, Seungcheol grips his hand tighter and pulls away. Panting ever so slightly, he leans his forehead against Jun’s. Jun lets his eyes flutter open, struggling to think about anything aside from how soft Seungcheol’s lips are.

They stare at each other for a moment, wide-eyed and out of breath, before Jun’s face bursts into flames and he hides it in Seungcheol’s neck with an _embarrassing_ squeak. Seungcheol, the dumb _bastard,_ laughs, rubbing Jun’s head soothingly. “Too much?”

“Don’t be mean,” Jun mumbles into Seungcheol’s shirt collar, voice still a little shaky but he moves back nonetheless. 

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

“Yeah.” Jun motions to his own lips, and Seungcheol has enough decency to look at least somewhat flustered. “ _Clearly.”_

They exchange banter for a while longer, smiles never leaving their faces, and they don’t let go of each other’s hand until they’re in front of Jun’s house. Seungcheol sends him off with the promise of an actual cake tomorrow night, but what really makes Jun’s insides turn all fuzzy is the guarantee that he can escape with Seungcheol one more time, finding the one pro capable of outweighing all the cons. He kisses Seungcheol, more of a peck than anything, to see the flush that spreads across his surprised face before sprinting into his yard with a laugh. 

There’s a word for this, and for every little moment like it. One day, they’ll figure it out.

**Author's Note:**

> Juncheol softest boys. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
> 
> (Also the bike scene was possibly inspired by Your Lie in April. Possibly.)
> 
> Feel free to clown me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ahlovejun).


End file.
